Yup, another blog.

If you used to play the Alien Trilogy on the Sega Saturn when you were younger, even though it resulted in puny, girly screams every time the face-suckers attached themselves to your head, then you’ll like Condemned 2.

You know you’re playing a good game when you spend most of your time screaming at your friend ‘HOLY FUCKING SHIT! I just raked a crowbar across the faces of two hobos!’, and fights with multiple enemies become the video-game equivalent of holding your arms out perpendicular to your body and spinning around in circles.

If you don’t scream several times during the course of the game, then you obviously aren’t playing it right. Turn all the lights off, the volume up and the brightness on your TV down. Like, right down.

There is no other equal for Condemned – no other game can provide the satisfaction you feel when you nail a zombie-hobo in the head with a pipe wrench from 20 yards away. Nor can they equal the fear as a bloodied thing runs at you using a deformed doll as a weapon. Nor the surprise as a flying brick rearranges your teeth.

For the best fun in Condemned, try the Fight Club mode. You can kill an infinite amount of enemies with a pistol, assault rifle or a plank of wood. Depending on how you feel. While killing a hobo with an assault rifle may not be as gratifying as manipulating their facial features with a piece of pipe, it is awesome beyond belief to swing around firing and hear the exploding crunch sound of a skull being liquidated. Think Resident Evil 4 headshots.

And so, if you looking for a scream a minute game, with violent, crunchy body part explosions and cringe-worthy finishing moves, Condemned 2 is for you.